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  #1  
Old 12-05-2013, 11:12 PM
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ol'George ol'George is offline
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Morris Schwartz is dying and is on his deathbed. He is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them: "Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses." "Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza." "Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center." "Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown" The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says to the wife, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated so much property." Sarah replies, "Property shmoperty...the schmuck had a newspaper route."

~~~~~~~~

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words…COMPLETE and FINISHED. In a recently held linguistic competition held in London and attended by supposedly the best in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over five minutes. The final question was: How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand? Some people say there is NO difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. Here is his astute answer:

When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED, and when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!!

He won a trip to travel the world in style and a case of 25 year old rum.
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Old 12-06-2013, 02:36 AM
Cubby guy Cubby guy is offline
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DING. DING DING DING


We have the winner!
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  #3  
Old 12-06-2013, 04:14 AM
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I've heard this before pretty good. Still weird seeing something with the same first name as me
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Old 12-06-2013, 06:02 AM
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Good ones!
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Old 12-06-2013, 11:28 AM
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Cub Cadet is a premium line of outdoor power equipment, established in 1961 as part of International Harvester. During the 1960s, IH initiated an entirely new line of lawn and garden equipment aimed at the owners rural homes with large yards and private gardens. There were a wide variety of Cub Cadet branded and after-market attachments available; including mowers, blades, snow blowers, front loaders, plows, carts, etc. Cub Cadet advertising at that time harped on their thorough testing by "boys - acknowledged by many as the world's worst destructive force!". Cub Cadets became known for their dependability and rugged construction.

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