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  #1  
Old 09-22-2011, 09:49 AM
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edw edw is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Jeffersontown KY
Posts: 81
Default ATM

Male vs. Female at the ATM Machine...



A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'


*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

*******************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
(What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!!)

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH, AND TO THE LADIES who can handle it.... A lady sent it to me. She was laughing, too.
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Ed Wells
Jeffersontown Ky
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  #2  
Old 09-22-2011, 11:36 AM
scleve scleve is offline
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Location: South Carolina
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Great!
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  #3  
Old 09-22-2011, 11:53 AM
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_DX3_ _DX3_ is offline
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Location: Richmond, Kentucky
Posts: 5,798
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O, that is sooooo true!!!
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DWayne

1973: 128, ag tires, 3pt. lift, spring assist, lights, 42" Deck

10" moldboard plow

2016 XT1 42" deck 18HP
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  #4  
Old 09-22-2011, 01:26 PM
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ACecil ACecil is offline
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Location: North Carolina
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Allen
Proud owner of my Original and 126!

My Grandpa's Cart
Craftsman Lawn Sweeper
Craftsman Plug Aerator
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Old 09-23-2011, 12:04 AM
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cub1450 cub1450 is offline
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Location: Westmoreland,Tennessee
Posts: 560
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Jed
Proud to be a FFA member Westmoreland,TN Chapter
1978 Cub cadet 1450 IH Hubcaps
1975 1650SGT Work In Progress
1974 cub cadet 129 with sleeve hitch/spring assist
1974 108 (Mint) #510358
brinly 12 in plow,disc,8 in plow ,2 42, 2 44A ,50A DECKS
#40 boxblade,can`t keep up with the rest lol
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Cub Cadet is a premium line of outdoor power equipment, established in 1961 as part of International Harvester. During the 1960s, IH initiated an entirely new line of lawn and garden equipment aimed at the owners rural homes with large yards and private gardens. There were a wide variety of Cub Cadet branded and after-market attachments available; including mowers, blades, snow blowers, front loaders, plows, carts, etc. Cub Cadet advertising at that time harped on their thorough testing by "boys - acknowledged by many as the world's worst destructive force!". Cub Cadets became known for their dependability and rugged construction.

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