Only Cub Cadets - Dear Husband !!

Dear Husband

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.

I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.

These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that

you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you

came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done,

cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came

home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game.

You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything.

>Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case

is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving

away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your Ex-Wife

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that

you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a

far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown

out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when

you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to

mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say

anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite

meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the

price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my

brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it

out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million

dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I

got home you were gone. Every- thing happens for a reason I guess. I

hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with

your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla.

I hope that's not a problem.

Signed

Rich As Hell and Free!