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Go Back   Only Cub Cadets > Off Topic > Jokes and Humor

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  #1  
Old 01-06-2017, 03:34 PM
twoton twoton is offline
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Default My sob story

Haven't been posting to much lately 'cause I been drinkin' alot!

Last night I was down at the bar, minding my own business when this FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and
said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"

I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"

She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".

I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses
you."

Cost me 6 stitches...but,

When you’re seventy...............who cares?
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  #2  
Old 01-06-2017, 03:59 PM
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Sam Mac Sam Mac is offline
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2264 with 54 GT deck
1641 AKA Black Jack with a 402-E Haban Sickle bar mower
JD317 dump truck
BX2670 with FEL
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  #3  
Old 01-06-2017, 04:37 PM
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Terry C Terry C is offline
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LOL!! Good one!
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O,100,72,102,123,104,124,105
125,129,149,1200,982
(2)2182s w/60in Habans
3225
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  #4  
Old 01-07-2017, 12:18 PM
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Bamafan Bamafan is offline
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  #5  
Old 01-07-2017, 09:58 PM
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jaynjeep jaynjeep is offline
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Thats funny!!
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40 years of Using and playing with IH Cub Cadets!

Proud owner of the following:
Cub Farmall, Super A Farmall, Original, (2)70's, 72, 100, 102, 123, 105, 125, 127, 108, 128, 1450, (3)782's, Yellow 982, 1782, "Sam's" 2182, M Farmall and a #7 trailer
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  #6  
Old 01-09-2017, 01:51 PM
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Dirty Steve Dirty Steve is offline
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Bwahahahahah! Very funny!
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70, #1 cart. Brinly Cultivator. Some wheel weights.

{125, 126, 2072-Sold~regrettably, 2284 60 inch Haban 325 deck., 451 snowblower, 2182-60 inch Haban 374 deck- "Money Pit", 401 Haban 54 inch dozer blade- rebuilt, 1440-down the road, Another 2182 for parts. Another 2284 for parts. 450 blower. 1812-sold, 2072 w/ Haban 374, and a 2182#3 w/ Haban 325}-------> All SOLD
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  #7  
Old 01-10-2017, 08:21 PM
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Cub Cadet 123 Cub Cadet 123 is offline
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Hahahaha......that's a great twist on words!!! One that even Groucho Marx would be proud of!!!

Cub Cadet 123
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Still don't know what I'm doing in OHIO?.....If you find me, then please point me back toward INDIANA.
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  #8  
Old 01-16-2017, 08:12 PM
twoton twoton is offline
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So, the other night me and the boys had a great time hangin’ out in Savanna. After pizza a t Vinni Van Go Go’s and far too much beer, I decided it was time to head back to the hotel.

Well, bad move. The life guard at the hotel caught me peeing in the pool. He yelled at me so loud I almost fell in!

But hey, when you’re seventy…..who cares?
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  #9  
Old 12-29-2017, 07:58 PM
twoton twoton is offline
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So, not much has changed in my life as of recent. Being seventy and all I felt it was time to see the Doctor for a check up as it’s been a long time. After all the tests came back the Doctor had me come back in for a follow up. I was very relieved when he told me “Dick, all your test came back normal”

Then the young punk had the nerve to ask me how I’m doing emotionally. Can you believe it? So I told him, “ Actually Doc, all this fighting on OCC has got me all worked up and I’m drinking more than I should”, I know, I know.. never tell the truth, no matter who’s asking. But anyway, I then told him that as a way of dealing, I have been praying a lot and that after all these years I feel that I have finally come to terms with the Lord. As a sign, God has been so gracious as to automatically turn the light on for me each night when I get up to pee. Yeah, can you believe it !? This praying stuff really works! Turns it off when I’m done too. Makes my life easier.

Well, so much for Doctor/patient confidence and such. He musta called my wife cause when I got home she whacked me in the head and accused me of peeing in the fridge again!

I know, I know, never tell the truth.
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  #10  
Old 12-30-2017, 04:13 AM
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Ozcubowner Ozcubowner is offline
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Hey Twoton read the over 70 thread , you are plagiarizing my jokes (lol)
Oz
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Cub Cadet is a premium line of outdoor power equipment, established in 1961 as part of International Harvester. During the 1960s, IH initiated an entirely new line of lawn and garden equipment aimed at the owners rural homes with large yards and private gardens. There were a wide variety of Cub Cadet branded and after-market attachments available; including mowers, blades, snow blowers, front loaders, plows, carts, etc. Cub Cadet advertising at that time harped on their thorough testing by "boys - acknowledged by many as the world's worst destructive force!". Cub Cadets became known for their dependability and rugged construction.

MTD Products, Inc. of Cleveland, Ohio purchased the Cub Cadet brand from International Harvester in 1981. Cub Cadet was held as a wholly owned subsidiary for many years following this acquisition, which allowed them to operate independently. Recently, MTD has taken a more aggressive role and integrated Cub Cadet into its other lines of power equipment.

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