Only Cub Cadets

PLEASE PATRONIZE OUR SPONSORS!

Cub Cadet Classics R. F. Houtz and Sons

Patton Acres Binder Books

IH Cub Cadet Parts


If you would like to help maintain this site & enhance it, feel free to donate whatever amount you would like to!



Only Cub Cadets Chat!

OCC Archives


Go Back   Only Cub Cadets > Off Topic > Jokes and Humor

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 11-13-2017, 01:08 PM
Sam Mac's Avatar
Sam Mac Sam Mac is offline
Senior Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Galax VA
Posts: 17,048
Default I love my job

I LOVE MY JOB

This is even funnier when you realize it's real!

Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.

She then sent it to radio station 103 .5 on FM dial in
Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Read his letter below...

~Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.

It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.

So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks
the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose
out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.

His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along
with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say, I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my ass was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!!
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.~
__________________
2264 with 54 GT deck
1641 AKA Black Jack with a 402-E Haban Sickle bar mower
1641 AKA Black Jack #2 with 46" deck
149 with a 1A Tiller
JD330 with 50" deck and 3 point hitch.
JD317 dump truck
BX2660 with FEL & Grassanator
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 11-13-2017, 02:18 PM
DieselDoctor's Avatar
DieselDoctor DieselDoctor is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Horseheads NY
Posts: 637
Default

Kind of makes my worst day seem like a walk in the park now!
__________________
782D, 782, 147, (3)149, 2072, (2)Original, 70 w/creeper
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 11-13-2017, 02:50 PM
rwairforce rwairforce is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 442
Default

Ahahahahahaaha! So well described. Maybe he'll write children's books after his underwater adventures end.
Thanks for sharing. I'm certainly enjoying my job even more!
__________________
Randy

Cubs: 71, 72, 127, 149, 1440(2), GT1554, and 1864
John Deere 110 round fender
John Deere 140 H3
Sears: GTV16
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 11-13-2017, 05:35 PM
Baccarat Baccarat is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 127
Default

I wonder what the "Worker's Comp Claim" looked like?

Also, Did OHSA investigate the situation?
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 11-13-2017, 07:19 PM
jaynjeep's Avatar
jaynjeep jaynjeep is offline
Grand Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Statesboro, GA
Posts: 1,541
Default

Now that is funny!! as long as you weren't the diver!!
__________________
Jay

40 years of Using and playing with IH Cub Cadets!

Proud owner of the following:
Cub Farmall, Super A Farmall, Original, 70, 72, 100, 102, 123,105, 125, 127, 128, 1450, (3)782's, Yellow 982, 1782, "Sam's" 2182, M Farmall and a #7 trailer
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:42 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Cub Cadet is a premium line of outdoor power equipment, established in 1961 as part of International Harvester. During the 1960s, IH initiated an entirely new line of lawn and garden equipment aimed at the owners rural homes with large yards and private gardens. There were a wide variety of Cub Cadet branded and after-market attachments available; including mowers, blades, snow blowers, front loaders, plows, carts, etc. Cub Cadet advertising at that time harped on their thorough testing by "boys - acknowledged by many as the world's worst destructive force!". Cub Cadets became known for their dependability and rugged construction.

MTD Products, Inc. of Cleveland, Ohio purchased the Cub Cadet brand from International Harvester in 1981. Cub Cadet was held as a wholly owned subsidiary for many years following this acquisition, which allowed them to operate independently. Recently, MTD has taken a more aggressive role and integrated Cub Cadet into its other lines of power equipment.

This website and forum are not affiliated with or sponsored by MTD Products Inc, which owns the CUB CADET trademarks. It is not an official MTD Products Inc, website, and MTD Products Inc, is not responsible for any of its content. The official MTD Products Inc, website can be found at: http://www.mtdproducts.com. The information and opinions expressed on this website are the responsibility of the website's owner and/or it's members, & do not represent the opinions of MTD Products Inc. IH®, INTERNATIONAL HARVESTER® are registered trademark of CNH America LLC

All material, images, and graphics from this site are the property of www.onlycubcadets.net. Any unauthorized use, reproductions, or duplications are prohibited unless solely expressed in writing.

Cub Cadet, Cub, Cadet, IH, MTD, Parts, Tractors, Tractor, International Harvester, Lawn, Garden, Lawn Mower, Kohler, garden tractor equipment, lawn garden tractors, antique garden tractors, garden tractor, PTO, parts, online, Original, 70, 71, 72, 73, 76, SO76, 80, 81, 86, 100, 102, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108,109, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 147, 149, 169, 182, 282, 382, 482, 580, 582, 582 Special, 680, 682, 782, 782D, 784, 800, 805, 882, 982, 984, 986, 1000, 1015, 1100, 1105, 1110, 1200, 1250, 1282, 1450, 1512, 1604, 1605, 1606, 1610, 1615, 1620, 1650, 1710, 1711, 1712, 1806, 1810, 1811, 1812, 1912, 1914.