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Old 12-29-2017, 05:56 PM
Ozcubowner's Avatar
Ozcubowner Ozcubowner is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: outskirts of Sydney NSW Australia
Posts: 878
Default Over 70

I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business.

This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When you’re over seventy.............who cares?



**********

I went to the Chemist and asked the lady assistant "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Assistant: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”;
I said "Nah.. She's pretty good looking'....."
When you’re over seventy.............who cares?



***********

I was talking to a young woman in the pub last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”;
I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”;
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you’re over seventy..............who cares?


**********

I was telling a woman in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but....
When you’re over seventy..............who cares?


*********

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you’re over seventy................who cares?


**********

I went to our pub last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but....
When you’re over seventy.............who cares?
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Cub Cadet is a premium line of outdoor power equipment, established in 1961 as part of International Harvester. During the 1960s, IH initiated an entirely new line of lawn and garden equipment aimed at the owners rural homes with large yards and private gardens. There were a wide variety of Cub Cadet branded and after-market attachments available; including mowers, blades, snow blowers, front loaders, plows, carts, etc. Cub Cadet advertising at that time harped on their thorough testing by "boys - acknowledged by many as the world's worst destructive force!". Cub Cadets became known for their dependability and rugged construction.

MTD Products, Inc. of Cleveland, Ohio purchased the Cub Cadet brand from International Harvester in 1981. Cub Cadet was held as a wholly owned subsidiary for many years following this acquisition, which allowed them to operate independently. Recently, MTD has taken a more aggressive role and integrated Cub Cadet into its other lines of power equipment.

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